Parenting the teens can be your new challenge after your children grow up. You will see many changes on your children behavior and way of thinking. You also need to gather more information about teen’s behavior and its issues. Ask your friends, read books and sources, go online, and even join the support group for parenting the teens. All of them will make you ready with the changes of your teens. Perhaps, some parents think that all of them are not necessary to do because everything will happen naturally. Well, in this case you need to know that parenting the teens today is far more different compared to a decade ago. What happens today is not the same as what happens in your teenager era.
That is the basic reason why you need to prepare. Another reason is what you have faced during your teens era is completely different with your teens’ era. Life is more complicated today and technology has developed significantly. It does not mean that you need to know the entire technology, but at least you know how to use and apply technology for avoiding your teens from its negative effect. Knowing technology means you can be in line with your teens. There will be interesting discussion and conversation, and even you may ask your teens to teach you something. This makes the bond between you and your teens become closer.
Preparing earlier means you are ready to fill the gap between you and your teens’ generation. You will be able to know what to do and behave to face the different behavior of your teens. You have to be ready in accepting reasons, making solution, and dealing with problems. Accept that your teens are half adult so they need to be treated as half adult also. If you have gathered information before, there will be no significant problem in parenting your teens maximally.
Guiding and watching your children grow is such a bless for every parent in the world. It seems everything happens so fast until you do not realize that your baby now is a beautiful teenager. Many parents spend the time looking at the pictures and remember what had happened few years ago. Yes, when your children have grown into smart and active teenagers, you will be very happy and proud. However, you need to be ready with the new habits and behaviors of your teens. Some of them have new challenging hobbies and like to hang out with friends. Meanwhile, some others seem to be more uncommunicative and have their own world.
Basically there is nothing wrong with those teens behavior. But you are supposed to control them to avoid the negative behavior and activities. It is important for you to think positively and see your teens’ actions from positive point of view. For example, you do not have to be panic when your teens like to hang out and go home late. Hang out means they learn to communicate and be a part of the community. They are among the others with the same hobbies and interest. As long as they do not behave negatively such as spend too much money for hang out or start drinking alcohol, you should not be too worry.
There will be a time when your teens will go home late. At the beginning, you must be very worry and perhaps think something negative happens on your teens. Try to text your teens once to know the reasons. If they reply your text, you can be calm down. At least you know that they are fine. But, you are not supposed to call or text them many times because they may feel you interrupt or disturb their activity. Remember, teenagers commonly start to be friend oriented, not parents oriented. They start to be shy to hang out with you. Understand this situation and make sure you keep having good communication with your teens.
In today’s world, no one will think negatively to someone who decides to be single parent. People will never judge someone simply because she or he is a single parent. Also, more people seem to be more supportive and help single parents when they need help. Meanwhile, there are some important issues that most single parents have to face, so that you can take these as consideration. First, you will be the one who is responsible to the household chores.
For the daily routines, such as cooking, cleaning the house, keeping the yard, and washing the dishes, there will be no significant problem. But, it will be a little bit difficult for single mother to deal with the leaking faucet or roof, changing the wallpaper, and even fixing the broken cabinet. They are considered as man’s job and very little women who are interested in handling those jobs. Hiring the persons to do these will cost some money. On the other hand, single father will also face difficulties when it is the time to deal with certain tasks associated to women’s.
Another issue is you need to find the best childcare for your children. It happens because you cannot take your children to work unless you work at home. Childcare equals to spending more money. Since it is only you as the income source, you need to be wise in choosing the best childcare. Automatically, financial becomes another issue you have to face. Try to manage your time carefully, so that you will be able to handle everything on your hand and be happy with your kids as single parent.
Deciding to be single parents seems to be your toughest decision you have ever made. It means you are ready to beat the challenges and face the consequences. You are going to have extra busy days to come. Then, you need to learn the way to make priority on your life. Perhaps, this sounds easy because you have learned to prioritize something at school or college. But, you face different situation and responsibilities. You have no spouse to talk about your kids’ education and behavior. For some people, this makes them to think that they can act and be mother and father at the same time. Well, actually that is not the case. Mother has her own rules in a family and so does father. They are not interchangeable or be able to replace.
There will be a time when your kids want to have a male or female figure at home. What to do then? Having dates does not seem to be good option. Make sure your kids are getting closer to their uncle, aunty, grandma, and grandpa. Indeed, they cannot replace the existence of father or mother. But, at least your kids know more figures in the family. It is common to see a father who feels very hard to explain his daughters about female issues and gender. Aunty and grandma can be the person who may be easier in explaining such a case.
Since there is only one parental figure in the family, you have to be ready when your kids start to ask you about another figure. Of course, don’t be panic and frustrated since it is normal. The kids deserve to know why you become single parent and what you have done so far to raise the kids normally. If you have some difficulties, you may go online or go to your surroundings to find the support group for single parents. This is where you can discuss and find solution towards your problems.
Although being single parents in certain culture is not considered as the good choice, the facts show that the number of single parents has risen significantly. Each person has their own reasons why they decide to be single parents. In your surrounding or town, you will be easy to see men and women who struggle to raise the kids as single parents. One reason that pops out lately is being single parent means you can decide good things for your kids yourself. No discussion or chatting needed to determine items related to your kids’ activities. You have your own right to control and educate your kids. For older kids, you can discuss and talk warmly about where to go this weekend, what sport activity to choose, why kids are forbidden to stay up late, etc.
Of course, it is not easy as it seems. Your kids will keep asking you about the existence of mother or father that is omitted in your home, especially when they are about 4-7 years old. This is the time when they start to compare the family with their friends’ at school. Surely, it will be your hard task to answer and explain the background and reasons. To ease the process, you should make sure that you are always available on your kids’ special moments. Be with them and read the story to increase the bond.
What you are not supposed to do is explaining the negative things about having complete family. For example, you tell your kids that having father is not really good due to some reasons. No!! It is totally and completely wrong!!! Your kids will not understand and keep questioning why and another why. In this case, you have to be positive and if it is possible you can take your kids to your brothers or sisters’ home. Or, visiting grandparents’ home on weekend can be done. This will make your kids have the feeling about family. Put their picture on the wall or on the desk to increase the bond and family feeling. There is nothing wrong of being single but make sure you do it positively.